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♥♥♥Welcome 2 My Space (Updated)♥♥♥

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 08:41:52 GMT

Hello spacer friends; sorry I haven't been around much. Work, School & Volleyball R really

taking up alot of time! I promise I will return your comments and visits =) ASAP

I will be updating aswell so keep in touch.

Millions of Hugzz N Kisses

Queen Of

Heartzz

!!!Leave Me Voice Comments (click here)!!!

Visit My Myspace @ myspace.com/liveinlovesiempre

Click 2 C Funny Dog Lawyer Video

Voice Mail Messages

Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.

Hi. I'm probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

Hello, you have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.

Hi, this is Bob. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

Hello, this is Bob. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me?

This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.

FUNNY QUOTES

Some where deleted (to cruel)

A1. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the porch!

A2. I See Dumb People.

A4. Jerks Need Lovin' Too!

A7. Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful. Hate Me Because I'm a bitch!

A8. I'll be spontaneous when I get around to it!

A9. So many pedestrians, not enough horse-power

A10. Will Work For Shoes

A11. Secret Agent: This is my disquise

A12. Damn right, I'm good in bed... I can sleep for days!

A13. My Wild Oats Have Turned To Mush

A14. Until you walk a mile in another man's shoes, It's not officially 'stealing.'

A15. I'm donating my body to Science Fiction.

A16. Had This Been An Actual Emergency, I would have screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

A18. Please tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.

A19. I like to get drunk and place bids on Ebay.

A20. Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

A21. My reality check is in the mail

A22. I'm Only 99% Perfect

A23. Roses Are Red,
Violets are blue,
I'm a raving lunatic,
HAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

A24. Does not play well with others.

A25. The most important things in life are me!

A26. The voices in my head keep debating
the lyrics to "Hotel California."

A28. My way or the highway!

A31. My Search Engine is making a funny noise.

A34. If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention!

A39. The World DOES Revolve Around Me.

A40. Add to Shopping Cart

A42. Be Glad I'm Not A Twin.

A43. How did I get so cute?

A44. Alpha Male

A45. I'd like to do a backstroke in the pools of your eyes.

A46. The monkey on my back, carries a chip on his shoulder.

A47. Ever notice that 'Cupid' rhymes with 'Stupid'?

A48. Queer Eye For You, Guy!

A49. Bracing myself against the cold shoulder.

A52. I do all my own stunts.

A53. Einstein's Half-Brother, Fred

A54. The Whole World Doesn't Revolve Around You (it revolves around me).

A55. Here I am! What are your other 2 wishes?

A56. I'm still a hot babe!

A58. Ditch the Bitch

A59. Stop The Madness!

A60. My boyfriend is out of town

A61. Save The Drama For Your Mama

A62. I'm my own best friend AND my own worst enemy.

A63. Call me, Gerbil-boy

A64. Bite Me!

A68. If I'm Not Happy, Nobody's Happy

IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
____________________
*they walk among us and they REPRODUCE!!!

I OWE MY MOTHER!!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4.My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of SMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12 My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

I created this table thanks to MinyAngel

Riddles
Highlight between the brackets below each riddle to find the answers.
You left a bar. From a hundred yards away, you manage to spot your black sports car, without the aid of moonlight, a street lamp, fire, or any other artificial light. How?
[ It was daylight. ]
How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of brick?
[ only one- the last one. ]
Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on earth?
[mount everest.]
If you were to put a coin into an empty bottle and then insert a cork into the neck, how could you remove the coin without taking out the cork or breaking the bottle? [push the cork into the bottle]
A-town and B-town are 10 miles apart. A man rides from A-town to B-town on Friday, stays in B-town two days, and rides back to A-town on Friday. How???
[ Friday is a horse. ]
clerk in the butcher shop is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
[ meat. ]
Can a California man legally marry his widow's sister?
[ no, he's dead. ]
If you were to take two apples from three apples,how many would you have?
[ two ]
I never was, am always to be,No one ever saw me, nor ever willAnd yet I am the confidence of allTo live and breathe on this terrestrial ball.
[ tomorrow ]
There is a certain crime, that if it is attempted,is punishable, but if it is committed,is not punishable.
[ suicide ]
He has married many women,but has never been married. Who is he?
[ a priest ]
Imagine you are in a steel box without any openings, windows or doors,completely sealed. How do you get out?
[ stop imagining. ]
The more you take away, the bigger it gets.What is it?
[ a hole]
A man takes a barrel that weighs 20 kilograms,and then puts something in it.It now weighs less then 20 kilograms.What did he put in the barrel?
[ a hole ]
The more you take, the more you leave behind.
[ footsteps ]
When can you add two to eleven and get one as the correct answer?
[ on a clock ]
What question can you never answer "yes" to?
[ are you asleep? ]
What is one thing that all wise men,regardless of their religion or politics,agree is between heaven and earth? [ and ]
I'm not a bird, but I can fly through the sky.I'm not a river, but I'm full of water.
[ cloud ]

Visit My Myspace @ myspace.com/liveinlovesiempre

!!!Leave Me Voice Comments (click here)!!!

Visit My Myspace @ myspace.com/liveinlovesiempre

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♥ஐ`¯`·.·εïз ♡WELCOME 2 MY SPACE♡ εïз`¯`·.·♥ஐ

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 09:22:48 GMT

Click 2 C Funny Dog Lawyer Video

THE DYSFUNCTIONAL SECTION OF A HALLMARK STORE.....

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And

now that you've come into my life...

( Inside card ) - I've changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...

( Inside card ) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....

( Inside card ) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....

( Inside card ) - Will you take the knife from my back?

You'll probably need it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry...

( Inside card ) - Someone other than you.

6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age..

( Inside card ) - Almost lifelike!

7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...

( Inside card ) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your

promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time...

( Inside card ) - What do you say we stop?

9. I'm so miserable without you...

( Inside card ) - It's almost like you're still here.

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....

( Inside card ) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...

( Inside card ) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your

birthday...

( Inside card ) - So we're having you put to sleep.

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas and certain areas of the Carolinas)

14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't

help but

wonder...

( Inside card ) - What the Hell was I thinking?

15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...

( Inside card ) - Too bad no one likes your husband.

I'VE STARTED A MYSPACE SPACE... COME VISIT ME THERE!
Visit My Myspace @ myspace.com/liveinlovesiempre
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why you shouldn't place your pic on the net!

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About My Space

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Beauty Tips, Quotes, Poems, Interesting Facts & more

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